Thankful...on this gray day...

...on this gray, rainy day, I am thankful.

I am also heartbroken with every picture and devastating bit of news from Japan. How can I reconcile these terrible pictures with my safe, comfortable world? Although I am not promised tomorrow, on this day, my children are safe, my home secure. There is no swift, horrible current bearing down on us, ripping our lives to shreds. Two things come to mind:

• The song we practiced in choir practice last night, one of my favorites -- Blessed Be Your Name, by Matt Redman. Here's the second verse: "Blessed be Your name, when the sun's shining down on me, when the world's all as it should be, blessed be Your name. Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name."
And the chorus (or is it the bridge?) gets me every time:

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say,
"Lord, blessed be Your name."

(Job 1:21)

• Also, a devotional quoted by Ann Voskamp in 1000 Gifts:

"Here dies another day
During which I have had eyes, ears, hands
And the great world round me;
And with tomorrow begins another.
Why am I allowed two?"

There is a fatalistic streak in me that can't help but wonder why I have been spared when others are suffering. And yet, I know this to be true - I must give thanks in everything. To withhold thanks for the everyday graces does not lessen the suffering of others. If I can find the gift, give thanks, receive the grace, the joy, the gift will pass from me to others. That is the small - and huge - thing we are called to do: receive God's blessings...and pass them on.

So, determinedly, feeling oh-so-small on this day, I am thankful...

...for Lent...for remembering
...a new baby, perfect
...new parents, nervous, happy
...new grandparents, ecstatic
...a spontaneous road trip with my daughter
...conversation, meaningful
...mama's kitchen...and her table
...a hug from Matthew
...friends who know me...and still love
...a difficult phone call, made
...Deuteronomy...finished!
...the planting that is completed
...the green shoots, just-emerging
...women, gathered to study, to share life
...quiet time in a quiet house with my quiet husband...
...believing He holds everything...He always loves...He is always good...