Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Over-driving...

So, the alleged blogging has been pretty sporadic lately. What can I say? Life is good...busy, but good. I've gotten a little lazy in my studying discipline, which has led to laziness in the writing/processing discipline, but I think I'm about to turn over a new leaf (somehow the first day of any month fills me with a sense of purpose!)

I also had one of those mornings on the farm filled with revelation in the simplest things. For example, I rarely drive a tractor. I can only barely drive a car and I am really uncomfortable behind the wheel of a huge, deadly, costly piece of equipment by John Deere. But, on occasion (the occasion being when the driving requires speeds of less than two miles per hour) I am pressed into service. This is usually when we're rolling out irrigation pipe and someone has to keep the tractor driving along a line, very slowly, through the field while the guys unroll pipe from the tractor like a giant roll of toilet paper, making sure it's lying properly in its trench.

Jesse had a short "trunk" run to roll out this morning - a replacement section, really. Seems the first pipe wasn't quite tough enough for a little uphill push of water that was required. It burst a time or two, the guys repaired it, but Jesse ultimately decided to replace that short section with a thicker, more durable pipe.


Lessons there, right? Maybe about being too "thin-skinned" and quick to burst anytime life gives you a little "push." Or maybe the need to toughen up for the rough spots in life - or better - the fact that we can't do anything about our pitiful torn places. It's up to The Farmer to repair - and when necessary, completely replace the broken places. Hmmm.

But working today, what really struck me was a tendency to "over-drive." My instructions were super simple - I was supposed to keep the huge front left tire directly on top of the existing pipe we were replacing. The path was very clearly laid out in front of me, about four feet into a tall, beautiful cornfield. But as you drive across rows, the tractor does a slight bob, a little dance, and I quickly over-correct on the wheel. Jesse usually tries to gently coach me (not today, but often), "Just drive straight, baby." But I weave, not trusting the tractor to stay on the path. How often does this apply to other parts of my life, I wondered, mournfully plowing over the outer edge of the cornfield. (That's a whole 'nother lesson - sacrificing the few stalks along the edge of the field to bring life-giving water to acres and acres of thirsty corn. But I digress.)

I definitely tend to "over-write," in case you haven't observed that by now. And I'm quite sure I've "over-parented" through the years - smothering, attempting to wrangle and control when all I really needed to do was drive straight. In teaching, even in my own spiritual development, there has been the tendency to "over-drive" - wresting control, not trusting the equipment, so panicked over doing something wrong that I over-compensate and veer off anyway.

Well, the pipe was successfully rolled out, reconnected to the line and water will be flowing through it this very evening, bringing life to the crops. And the experience has left me pondering a few questions. So much to learn on the farm.
------
I realized when I opened this up that I never posted my Scripture memory for the last half of May. So here are those verses:

"But you are a chosen people,
a royal priesthood,
a holy nation,
God's special possession,
that you may declare the praises of Him
who called you out of the darkness
and into His wonderful light.
Once you were not a people,
but now you are the people of God;
Once you had not received mercy,
but now you have received mercy."
1 Peter 2:9-10

(I tried to type this from memory and fell way short. Need to work on it some more.)


For the first half of June, I'm working on a passage that is familiar, but not committed to memory -

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9

I've always loved these verses, but my appreciation was renewed when I watched this video by Francis Chan recently. What a gracious, wise person he is! So thankful for good teachers!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Turn north...

I had a hard time "landing" on the right scripture to memorize for the first two weeks in May...I've been blessed, encouraged and challenged by a lot of words while searching for the right "Word" for right now...then I read something by Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries and author of Made to Crave. She was writing about giving advice to her son...and taking her own advice. She shared several verses, but one Scripture in particular pierced me with strange, specific practicality:

"You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north."
Deuteronomy 2:3

I'm a chewer, a worrier, a replay-a-conversation-over-and-over, think-and-re-think kind of girl. I'm also a girl prone to wearing a path deep...same steps, missteps, same mistakes, excuses.

"You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north."

I think I'll try climbing out of a rut or two and point my feet north. How about you? Tired of circling a mountain? I'm so thankful for God's Word...

Also thankful for...
255. Woods, lovely, dark, deep
256. The intensity of the green of spring
257. Dappled sunlight through thick trees
258. Honeysuckle - thick with blooms and luscious scent
259. A convenient bathroom
260. A cold drink
261. A "crisis" averted
262. Comfy jeans
263. An air-conditioned truck
264. Holy days
265. Pretty green streak of new cotton
266. Lightning
267. My kids (Yes, thank you, Lord!)
268. "Riding and looking"
269. Unexpected encouragement from a teen (wow)
270. Miss Christine's hamburgers
271. The grace of an overcast day
272. The garden's first carrot
273. Sunrise service, breezy, joyful
274. Pancakes made by church guys
275. Sweet peas, raw, crunchy, fresh off the vine
276. Baby feet
277. The ability to irrigate thirsty crops
278. Jesse's amazing shovel skills
279. Jesse's astounding math skills
280. Wind in trees
281. Wind rippling across water
282. Cypress trees rising from the bayou
283. Diet A&W and Cheez-its
284. Old (ancient, even) equipment that still works; is still useful
285. Spiritual lessons in irrigation chores...



Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Becoming less...

I was drawn to a simple verse to memorize this two weeks...simple, yet...not.

"He must become greater;
I must become less."
John 3:30

This declaration by John the Baptist speaks to my ever-present quest for true humility...not self-loathing, but an accurate assessment of self (not thinking "poorly" of self, but just thinking less of "self" altogether!) John the Baptist made the statement in response to some of his indignant followers, who apparently were feeling that the upstart Jesus was edging them out of prominence.

But John knew his role - he knew exactly who he was - a voice crying out; one preparing a way; the best man -- the one who rejoiced at the entrance of the bridegroom and then cheerfully retreated to a place of less prominence.

Yet how can He, Jesus, "become greater?"

He is I AM...
greatness personified...
completeness...
the way...
truth...
life...
love...
He cannot become any greater than He is and always has been. But He can, and must, become greater in my view...fill my vision, my heart, with His greatness so that my only response is overwhelming gratitude and love.

Eyes off self. Filled with Him.

We are all vessels. We can only hold so much. For Him to increase, to become greater within me, I must pour out self and give Him room.

He must become greater; I must become less. How He even continues to have patience with my striving, I'll never know...but I am so thankful!

Counting this and other gifts today:

• Michael, softly singing, strumming,
in the late hours...
• Jess, blossoming in her new life...
• Gorgeous skies, strong breezes...
• The preacher, fist-bumping a 9-year-old
during church...
• Beautiful future bride, opening gifts, blushing,
exclaiming thanks...
• Vintage milk bottles on my window sill...
• Encouraging notes from teenagers...(wow)
• Round steak in the crockpot...
• Eating cheese nips with Jesse in the tractor...
• Ernie (the dog)'s miraculous recovery...
• The...I don't know, relief maybe?,
of each other's presence...ah.
• Early morning walks and conversation...
sharing life with a friend
• A timely rain...
• A day at home...
• A convicting Word...

• Sleeping with windows open...
• Waking to birdsongs...
• Changing out the heavy quilt for the light bedspread...
• My favorite pillow...

I'm so thankful for the gift of counting gifts...thankful for the inspiration for this journey...which can be found here:

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Busy...thankful...

It's been a crazy-busy couple of weeks and while I've been frequently overwhelmed with gratitude, I haven't been consistent with recording gifts...

Here's an attempt to reconcile that and get back on track...

I'm thankful for so many things...

...promises, plans
...my family, growing
...my son, grown (!)
...sweet Maranda

...crops, growing, green
...the comfort of Jesse's nearness
...talking with Jessica about everything
...unexpected affirmation, so encouraging
...the challenge of study, questioning
...the unmistakable power of a thunderstorm

...the mystery of the garden


When we planted these sweet, green peas, the seed packet said they needed some type of trellis to climb. Jesse, ever the problem-solver, decided to plant the seeds at the base of the corn stalks left from last year's crop...



...and it's working. They are growing, thriving. The mystery to me is that these plants, knowing they need the support, send delicate tendrils...reaching, curling, holding...




...everything in creation knows we need something to hold on to in this crazy world...what a beautiful thing...

•••••

Memory verse for the first two weeks of April:

"Be on your guard.
Stand firm in the faith.
Be courageous. Be strong.
Do everything in love.
I Cor. 16:13-14






Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Giving thanks with a full heart...

Counting gifts after a weekend which saw my home filled to overflowing with wonderful, crazy, delightful teenage girls! Sitting here now, in the so-so-quiet, it's hard to believe it was just a few days ago! We hosted eight girls (six teens and two college-age leaders) as part of a Discipleship Now weekend, and it was wonderful. We've also been planting corn and enjoying the absolutely gorgeous sights of spring...so here's my list for recent days...

...anticipating a houseful of girls...


...girl stuff all over my house...


...getting ready for a trip to the nursing home...precious cards, handmade, with hearts poured into each word...


...sweet girls praying for others...


...a visit to a beautiful garden, tended with love...







...True beauty...Braiden's wisdom and kindness...Amber's loving, joyful spirit...Faith's wide-open heart...Anna Grace, quiet, sweet...Makayla's faithful heart...Kristin's compassionate heart...Tessa's love for Him...Carley's tender heart...

...and more beauty in the every day...freshly planted fields...

Cory's first crop...

A neighbor's beautiful wheat field...



...a catch-up visit with closest friends...diet cherry limeade...honest, searching prayer...a tractor ride with Jesse...cold water...a new, light-footed tractor, easing over wet farmland...giggles on my stairs...

thankful.




Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Holding fast...

New memory verse for the second half of March:

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,
for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:23

In these uncertain days, when we are bombarded with images of brokenness; things and lives swept away, I am comforted by the picture of holding "unswervingly" - steady, constant, unshakable, resolute. And not holding onto something flimsy or unsubstantial, but to the hope we profess.


I love the Amplified Bible's translation of this verse:

"So let us seize and hold fast
and retain without wavering
the
hope we cherish and confess
and our acknowledgment of it,
for He Who promised is reliable (sure)
and faithful to His word."


This hope is not a vague, fuzzy, wishful feeling, but a firm belief, an expectation based on the reliable, sure and faithful God. What is that "hope" - that expectation?

He is God.
He is always good.
And we are always loved.
Always.

Praying that in these dark days, God's presence will be made manifest in the lives of those hurting in Japan. (If you're looking for a way to give, here's a wonderful group that is already on the ground and providing relief in the hardest hit areas.)

Holding fast, unswervingly, on this day.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Thankful...on this gray day...

...on this gray, rainy day, I am thankful.

I am also heartbroken with every picture and devastating bit of news from Japan. How can I reconcile these terrible pictures with my safe, comfortable world? Although I am not promised tomorrow, on this day, my children are safe, my home secure. There is no swift, horrible current bearing down on us, ripping our lives to shreds. Two things come to mind:

• The song we practiced in choir practice last night, one of my favorites --
Blessed Be Your Name, by Matt Redman. Here's the second verse: "Blessed be Your name, when the sun's shining down on me, when the world's all as it should be, blessed be Your name. Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name."
And the chorus (or is it the bridge?) gets me every time:
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say,
"Lord, blessed be Your name."
(Job 1:21)

• Also, a devotional quoted by Ann Voskamp in 1000 Gifts:
"Here dies another day
During which I have had eyes, ears, hands
And the great world round me;
And with tomorrow begins another.
Why am I allowed two?"

There is a fatalistic streak in me that can't help but wonder why I have been spared when others are suffering. And yet, I know this to be true - I must give thanks in everything. To withhold thanks for the everyday graces does not lessen the suffering of others. If I can find the gift, give thanks, receive the grace, the joy, the gift will pass from me to others. That is the small - and huge - thing we are called to do: receive God's blessings...and pass them on.

So, determinedly, feeling oh-so-small on this day, I am thankful...

...for Lent...for remembering
...a new baby, perfect
...new parents, nervous, happy
...new grandparents, ecstatic
...a spontaneous road trip with my daughter
...conversation, meaningful
...mama's kitchen...and her table
...a hug from Matthew
...friends who know me...and still love
...a difficult phone call, made
...Deuteronomy...finished!
...the planting that is completed
...the green shoots, just-emerging
...women, gathered to study, to share life
...quiet time in a quiet house with my quiet husband...
...believing He holds everything...He always loves...He is always good...